Is My Baby Crying With Reflux or Colic Pain?
The cries of a baby are tough enough to decipher at the best of times, and there are a lot of people now learning what babies are telling us, however, you don’t need to be a qualified expert in baby cries to be able to know what is going on. Here, I explore the signs your baby's cries are due to reflux.
The truth is, we all spoke baby once; we just doubt ourselves now that we haven’t practised for so long. I want you to remember that you DO know what is going on here.
Are my baby's cries due to reflux?
I will be super honest with you here: there's very little that we can say to guarantee if a baby is crying due to reflux or not. However, if you observe many other reflux symptoms with crying, and it feels like there is nothing that works, then your baby is trying to tell you something.
They might be crying for a hug, for some milk, for some sleep, to call you back... or to tell you that there is something in their body that is hurting them.
Given that you’re likely to be exhausted and searching for clues, here are some of my observations from personal experience and from speaking with hundreds of clients over the last few years…
A baby who is crying due to discomfort or pain generally has a high-pitched sound unlike that of any other “normal baby cry” that you might hear.
It will really pull on your heartstrings, and you feel that you must respond.
Your baby is not trying to manipulate you. They are asking for help.
However, you don't need to KNOW that their crying is due to reflux or not to be able to help them understand them. Scroll to the bottom to sign up for your free reflux symptoms tracker, which will help you understand more about reflux right now.
In the meantime,
Three tips to ease your baby's crying...
1. Stop trying to 'stop your baby crying
Firstly, it's really important to understand that a baby who is crying is doing one of two things, and perhaps both:
- Trying to communicate
- Expressing how they feel
As parents, we should not feel that the goal is ever to "stop the baby from crying". This intention reinforces a mindset in us that there is something wrong with our child or that we don't want to listen to what they are trying to tell us.
I know that this is never the conscious intention of parents. However, observing older children and their parents in public, a child crying, having a tantrum or expressing anything other than a socially acceptable set of behaviours makes parents feel uncomfortable. And this causes us to "hush" our children, teaching them that their feelings, emotions, voice and opinions are not as important as to what we look like to others.
Hopefully, you agree with me that this is not true.
One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is to listen to them, validate their feelings and experiences, and teach them to feel their feelings, too.
If you've read much of my work, you will know that crying can actually be a direct cause of reflux, so what should we do?
I recommend you change your intention. Understand WHY your baby is crying. Are they hungry? Are they overstimulated? Are they in discomfort or pain from reflux or colic?
And then address the underlying cause of that.
Removing the cause of the cry is a much longer-term and more effective way of reducing your baby's reflux due to aerophagia (air intake). It supports your baby's emotional and mental development in the best way possible.
2. Listen to the baby, see what works, and DO THAT
Notice if your baby is comfortable and settles only in a very particular position or when you’re doing a specific move (for my eldest, this was squatting… and not just any old squats. These were full, deep squats she wanted, and anything less set her off again! – Honestly, no matter how bizarre it seems to us as adults, this specific movement is providing some sort of relief to them. It’s time to understand what is causing discomfort from which they need relief.
Take courage and experiment with different positions, swings, bounces, etc, to find what works for your baby. Browse YouTube for tips and techniques, and don't do the things that don't work for your baby, and DO use the ones that do.
I so often speak to parents who are doing things like holding baby upright for 30 minutes after a feed, every feed, all night long because someone told them to... and they haven't reported ANY NOTICEABLE IMPROVEMENT from doing this, so I ask them Why continue doing it?
Every baby, every child, every human is unique, and we all like different things, so listen to your baby on what works for them and do that.
3. Trust yourself
And finally, the most important tip I can give you with regards to your baby’s crying is to trust yourself.
Yes, babies cry.
This is normal.
This is their only way to communicate. However, not every baby cries for hours and hours each day and night, requiring what feels like phenomenal amounts of comfort.
If you feel, think, or believe that your baby is more unsettled than they should be, they probably are, and there is something we can do to help them be more comfortable in their body so that they are calmer, happier and overall pain-free.
When you see any practitioner, be it a doctor, midwife, tongue-tie practitioner, chiropractor, Bowen Therapist, craniosacral therapist, osteopath, dietician, allergist, or Baby Reflux Lady (yes! Even me!), it is your job to take the information presented to you, piece it together with everything you are experiencing and living on a daily basis, and make the decisions for your baby.
Take what works from every practitioner and leave what doesn't.
With every client I work with, be you a book reader, online course attendee or 1:1 client, I seek to help you understand exactly what is going on for your baby, why they are experiencing what they are, and to provide you with a plan that makes logical sense.
When you understand why you are taking the actions you are taking and the expected outcomes, it's much easier to see what's working and what isn't and to grow your own confidence in your parenting, in your relationship with your baby, and to choose from an informed place, what to do and why.
Responsibility for reflux is hard to take and so very rewarding.
See the link below for our Reflux-Free Baby Workshop;
Until then, keep doing all you're doing and know you are amazing.
No child was ever spoiled with love.
How can I help you?
The best approach to resolving reflux is to understand the underlying cause. This can be done by reading all the symptoms your baby has, grouping them into patterns and using this pattern analysis to figure out the underlying cause. By doing this, you can take specific action to address the specific cause in your baby.
Helpless no more - that is my goal for families everywhere. Click here for more information on our online workshop, the world's only online workshop that teaches you EVERYTHING you need to know to understand reflux and find your baby relief from their discomfort.
Created to help you to identify the cause of your baby's reflux and to discover the action to take to help your baby.
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