When Nobody Seems to Understand Baby Reflux, Not Even Your Partner
I close my eyes, shake my head and feel so utterly and completely deflated. No one understands what it is like to have a baby with reflux. Not even my partner.
He doesn't believe me.
He doesn't think there's anything wrong.
He thinks I'm making it up and exaggerating... But he's not in our lives, except for a few hours every day.
Our baby has reflux.
No one helps.
No one understands.
I'd given up on the doctors and health visitors a long time ago.
I hoped he would see, but it appears that as our baby grows older, he now thinks the same as them. He starts telling me, "She'll grow out of it". And yes, I hope she will. But when? And how much suffering do we have to go through before then? Is it all necessary?
There are few things that feel so deflating as when your own partner doesn't understand... won't understand... cannot understand what life is really like.
Sure, your partner is also your child's parent.
Of course, they love the child immensely.
Of course, they love you, too.
But how many days have they spent in your shoes? I mean, completely and utterly in your shoes?
When you take a day off from the kids (if you take a day off from the kids), do you just get up in the morning, do your own thing and leave the house?
Or do you spend days or weeks thinking about it, planning it, preparing it so that it is the smoothest day ever for your partner and the kids? Make sure it's an easy day for everyone else so that you can have another day off sooner rather than later?!
And when you come home, do you get the feeling that your partner now feels like you're talking complete rubbish every other day of the week because his one-day experience was so easy and smooth?
And did they see the preparation that went into the day? Did they understand the planning that went into making sure their day was smooth?
Life with a baby with reflux is crazy hard.
It can tear relationships apart. Especially if your baby does all their screaming during the day and is so exhausted by the evening that they sleep all night... Or all the vomiting and food refusals and problems are during the day when your partner is at work...
Does your partner fully understand what it's like to have a week in your shoes?
Does your partner truly know the ongoing feelings you suffer? That you already question everything you do with your baby, that everything you do is with the intention of minimising their pain and suffering?
Do you get the "they will grow out of it" and "reflux is normal" conversations from your closest family members?
I know what it feels like to have no one in the world truly believe you. It's EXHAUSTING.
To have your own siblings give you their experience and advice on dealing with babies who cry... They are lucky that they have never had a reflux baby...
Their kids never screamed in pain for hours at a time.
Their babies did not vomit everywhere, so going to a friend's house was embarrassing and avoided.
Their babies didn't scream and battle to take a bottle of milk so much that it sounded like you were force-feeding them, and you couldn't possibly feed them in public.
It feels like you are alone without any help from anyone.
I've been there.
I dealt with that.
Know that you are not alone anymore. There are so many more parents like you out there - and I was one of them.
I KNOW what it is like to be in your shoes.
I KNOW how much you want others to 'get it' too... It's hard.
So, how do you convince your partner that you need more help? Better help?
Talk to them. Be open, be honest, and be vulnerable. Show them how easy it is for you just to break down and cry. Sob.
Ask them why your baby needs to suffer in so much pain. Ask them if they would not do anything to relieve the suffering that is unnecessary.
And often, medication is not the answer. Another trip to the doctor is not always the answer.
I know because I've dedicated myself to finding out what that other way is. To relieve my children and others from the unnecessary pain of baby reflux symptoms.
I don't want you to suffer any longer!
I know no one seems to understand, but I'm here to show you I do.
Answers aren't that far away.
Solutions are available.
Without medication (unless it's really TRULY necessary to the underlying issues your baby is experiencing).
The best place to start?
In the 'Reflux Free Baby' Workshop, I walk you through all the symptoms you need to observe and record for your baby, what they mean, and how to use them as clues. The course is suitable for both bottle-feeding and breastfed babies who are suffering from baby reflux.
I tell you what the clues mean individually and when they occur with other groups of symptoms.
This leads us to be able to say what is causing each baby's reflux with much more confidence.
Based on this, I tell you what specific action to take for them.
You don't need to suffer any longer.
Your partner doesn't even need to understand.
There are plenty of people who do.
I promise.
Áine x
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