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D is for Dad

Uncategorized Jun 24, 2018

Let us not forget the dads, husbands and partners (male and female) in families where baby has reflux.

 

 

It is vital that we remember. It is vital that we acknowledge.

I have no idea what it feels like experience complete and total rejection from the one you love more than anything else in this universe. The life that you have created with your partner.

For my husband, my oak tree, this took its toll. And yet he remained strong and steadfast. Every day his heart being ripped apart by reflux.

 

Reflux (although we didn’t know what it was at the time) almost broke us. And I’m thankful every day that my husband is both stubborn and ridiculously attached to fixing things. And it has taken us over 5 years to recover from what we lost to reflux.

 

He put up with emotional abuse from me. I was suffering from PND myself and when he approached the subject he got it thrown back in his face with vengeance. How could he accuse me of failing? (Which he never actually did).

 

He had to leave the two most precious women in his life every morning and go to work. Worried about how we would cope all day. He would check in on us during the day and was lucky if I didn’t break down in tears every time, just knowing someone cared.

 

He had to come home to a wife who was pretending that everything was okay and trying to be strong.

 

He then tried to help calm and comfort Sunflower, and I knew it was breaking his heart. He wanted to help, so badly. He wanted to comfort her. He wanted to give me a break. And every time he took sunflower in his arms she screamed even louder just because he wasn’t me.

 

I cannot think what that sort of rejection day after day after day is like.

 

And I know it has the power to break anyone.

So today, lets spare a thought for our other halves, our partners, those who often suffer in silence.

 

My advice?

 

Talk to each other.

 

Allow yourselves to be vulnerable with each other.

 

Just sharing the pain and anguish can really lighten your load. Through talking you are not putting your feelings onto someone else.

 

You are supported.

 

And you have the ability to support too.

 

Even when you think you are at your lowest, it can be reassuring to know that someone else, the person closest, understands and is going through it too.

 

I have known families where the stress that the reflux brought with it has resulted in families breaking apart. There is no support for these families. So let's start with our own family and start talking.

 

It might feel raw, and it might feel exposing.

 

The reward, however, is great.

 

I deal with how our baby's reflux affects all the relationships around us and what we can do about it to make life just that little bit easier in my book The Baby Reflux Lady's Survival Guide.

 

If you are ready to change your life, to take the actions to move your family away from the challenges your baby's suffering has introduced, and you are ready to invest to get this change quickly, book your free call with me to discuss how I can help.

 

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